Grieving allows us to heal,
to remember with love rather than pain.
It is a sorting process.
One by one you let go
of the things that are gone
and you mourn for them.
One by one you take hold
of the things that have become a part of who you are
and build again.

-- Rachel Naomi Remen 

We learn to carry the pain, but we never let go of our children. We are connected with them forever.

Grief never ends, but it changes.
It is a passage, not a place to stay.
The sense of loss must give way
if we are to value the life that was lived.

– Author unknown

Grief still has to be worked through.
It is like walking through water.
Sometimes there are little waves lapping about my feet.
Sometimes there is an enormous breaker that knocks me down.
Sometimes there is a sudden and fierce squall.
But I know that many waters cannot quench love,
neither can the floods drown it.
We are not good about admitting grief, we Americans.
It is embarrassing.
We turn away, afraid that it might happen to us.
But it is part of life, and it has to be gone through.

– Madeleine L’Engle, in
Two-Part Invention: The Story of a Marriage

“The soul would have no rainbow had the eyes no tears.”
-John Vance Cheney quote

"The tears fall, they're so easy to wipe off onto my sleeve, but how do I erase the stain from my heart?” - author unknown

“There is sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief...and unspeakable love.” Washington Irving quote

If I am far from you…
In my sleep…
I am with you.
When I awake….
I am alone.

There’s not an hour
In the night….
When my heart
Is not awake and
Thinking of you.

That you…
Thousands of times….
Gave me your heart.

I like the idea that my heart is always open and connected with Clint.

Our birth is but a sleep and a forgetting
The Soul that rises with us, our life’s Star,
Hath had elsewhere its setting
And cometh from afar:
Not in entire forgetfulness,
And not in utter nakedness,
But trailing clouds of glory do we come
From God, who is our home:
Heaven lies about us in our infancy!

--Wordsworth’s Ode: Imitations of Immortality from Recollections of Early Childhood

There are many rooms in the Father’s House
just as there are many grades in school.
The period of time we spend on earth is,
but one grade of life.
It is, but a beginning.

--Robert A. Russell

Clint returned to his true Home and we will join him one day. Until that time, we know he rests in the palm of God's hands. We were blessed to have shared 20 years with him. We know he is saving a place for us.

"When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy. When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight."

-Kahlil Gibran

 “She clings to the hand of God to keep from going wild, while in His presence comes to know His other hand holds her child”

quote from an Angel Mom

We remember you......

1. kicking mom during the pregnancy and waking her up in the middle of the night.
2. loving to be held. You hated the stroller, car seat, etc.
3. getting into everything as a toddler. We couldn’t keep up with you.
4. carrying the caterpillar all afternoon, so you could share it with dad when he got home.
5. loving to hug. Each morning when you were younger, you had to be held a bit before you started your day. You continued to give hugs even as you grew older.
6. chasing characters for autographs at Disney World.
7. fishing with a net along the shoreline of the ocean.
8. loving to be with your friends....so many friends.
9. sharing a bag of sour gummy worms.
10. attending every birthday party in the neighborhood.
11. jumping on the trampoline for hours.
12. wrestling with your brother.
13. loving sports; baseball, basketball, track.
14. talking on the phone for hours.
15. fixing your hair so it would be just right.
16. shopping.
17. checking out the “babes”.....so many girl friends.
18. washing your new car and conning us into helping you.
19. making us laugh.
20. going to proms and looking so sharp or as you might say looking pimp.
21. expressing joy when something worked out in your favor or when you were right about something with a “Yeah Yaaa”.
22. singing in the shower.
23. driving up the driveway with your car music playing loudly.

I walked a mile with Pleasure.
She chattered all the way,
But left me none the wiser
For all she had to say.
I walked a mile with Sorrow,
And ne’er a word said she;
But oh, the things
I learned from her
When Sorrow walked with me!

I carry your heart with me
(I carry it in my heart)

Only a child knows the beat of their mother's heart from the inside.

When I read this poem, I think of the way Clint assisted younger children at camp.

Grief fills the room up of my absent child
Lies in his bed, walks up and down with me,
Puts on his pretty looks, repeats his words,
Remembers me of all his gracious parts
Stuffs out his vacant garments with his forms:
Then have I reason to be fond of grief.

--Shakespeare, King John